The Mother Load: How to Really Love a Child
October 7th, 2011 | 
Author: 
A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine gave me a framed quotation she had from when her kids were young. It’s by American author and illustrator SARK (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy), and it’s called How to Really Love a Child. It’s a beautiful sentiment and, set behind a yellow mat in a simple glass frame, it coordinates nicely with my daughter’s room.
Apparently, it hung in my friend’s daughter’s room for a long time, but now that she’s 21, my friend was looking for a new home for it and wanted to pass it along to someone with young kids.
The entire message can be found in the book SARK’s New Creative Companion, and on SARK’s website planetsark.com, but contains a list of things such as “let them bang on pots and pans,” “teach feelings” and “invent pleasures together.”
As soon as I read it, I just knew that this was going to be a manifesto for our home. It’s full of simple wisdom that’s achievable as long as you have the right
frame of mind.
But after reading it a few times, there was a part of me that wanted to write my own manifesto, tailored to who I am, who my husband is and who my kids are.
I’ve been working on it, and thought I’d share with you what I have so far. Here’s my version of How to Really Love a Child:
Listen. No, really, listen. Climb to the top of a hill together and lie under the sun. Watch the clouds go by. Jump through mud puddles, hand in hand. Laugh until the tears roll down your cheeks. Get your hands dirty. Kiss the owies better. Use the proper voices when you read. Say “yes” when it really doesn’t matter either way, but stand your ground when it does. Teach them the ancient art of wicked fort building. Say “I love you” every day. Admit it when you’re wrong. Answer the “whys?” Be the kind of person you hope they will become. Really be it, don’t just pretend. Sing and dance from your soul. Tell them about when you were little, and not just how hard you had it walking to school. Remind yourself that they probably are acting their age. Breathe. Teach them that they are worth an infinite amount. Because they are.
I don’t know if I’ll actually write it down and frame it. I might. I know I should, because this one is a manifesto right from my own heart – and while it comes from there I don’t actually have it memorized by heart, and quite frequently I need reminding. It would be good to have it in a central spot for easy access when I’m having one of “those” days and need to be brought around.
If it were up to me, everyone who works with kids would have to write their own, listing in no particular order what they see as priorities for interacting with children. Because, even though it seems like it should be simple to really love a child, it takes thought and it takes action and it takes reminding ourselves daily of the ultimate goal.
- Words and photos by Lori-Anne Poirier
Tablescaping for Spring
Ode to the Pansy
Hello Hello!
Guest Posting
Absolutely inspiring. I keep my own reminder inside a kitchen door cupboard when I need reminding that my child is my first priority, not washing the dirty dishes. I wrote the poem out in a post weeks and weeks ago, but here is the link if you want to read the poem I quoted.
http://feellovdeveryday.blogspot.com/2011/07/my-annual-letter-to-my-son.html
Lovely and applies not only to loving children!
Beautiful…You were inspired and now I have been too. I might like to create a family one when the kids get older and give their input too…hmm, maybe they are old enough already:)
That’s so lovely Lori-Anne. I think SARK would be tickled that she inspired you (not that I know her or anything, but from the few things of read of hers, she seems to be very encouraging and open). You too are an inspiration!