The Pear Tree

I made the decision, even before my oldest son was born, that my kids were going to have a simple childhood.

They weren’t going to have more toys than they’d know what to do with (that one went down the pipes at the first of five baby showers), they weren’t going to be in front of the TV and computer all the time (still working on that one) and they weren’t going to be over-scheduled with lessons and sports and organized activities.

I wavered, just a little bit and only momentarily, on that last one last week.

I read an article in the New York Times about fast-tracking learning at an early age (Fast-Tracking to Kindergarten, May 13, 2011). It’s about a growing trend among parents in the United States to get their kids reading and doing math at an early age, in order to help them succeed in school (for two other inspiring missives, check out these links to the blogs Classic Play and Nilsen Life).

These kids aren’t geniuses; they’re normal, average, everyday (although possible well-to-do) kids. They’re two or three years old and they’re reading and writing and doing actual math. And they’re feeling a sense of accomplishment to boot.

My son, who’s just gone on four, could totally do that, I thought. Am I holding him back by not pushing him to maximize his capabilities during these magical learning years? Will he have a hard time keeping up in school if I don’t start now?

I admit that, even as I argued in my head against the points I was reading, there was this nagging feeling that I could be short-changing my children if I don’t get them down to the nearest Kumon or Sylvan centre ASAP.

Of course, that was only momentary. Because, while it is, apparently, possible for a two-year-old to learn to read – and some will just pick this up all by themselves without tutoring or even coaxing from an adult and good for them – I don’t believe that formalized education at this age is beneficial.

I think that our lives have become so structured and packed full of things that we feel we are slacking if we’re not pushing ourselves all day, from getting ready for work and school to coming home and shuffling one kid off to soccer and another to violin, then over to a birthday party and then swimming followed by homework, practice and some downtime in front of the TV or Facebook. The older kids often have to fit a part-time job or two in between.

And while I’m all for keeping kids busy to keep them out of trouble, I also believe strongly that it’s not just important but absolutely vital to play. And I don’t mean with a game consul.

I’m talking about heading outside to run and yell. To hole up in your bedroom under a giant fort. To turn a cardboard box into a space station, or a broomstick into a mighty steed.

I also think that it’s a misconception that if toddlers, in particular, aren’t sitting down and learning in an organized manner that they aren’t learning at all. I believe that playing is hard work. I also believe that, as they play house or cars or king of the castle that kids are learning some of the most important lessons of their lives – things that will build the foundation of who they become as a person.

In addition to tweeking both their fine and large motor skills, they’re processing things and experimenting, finding creative solutions, socializing and just coming to terms a little bit with the world around them.

And even if you want to dismiss all that, there’s no debating that there will never be another time in their life as free and unfettered and ripe for the imagination. School will come soon enough.

Now don’t get me wrong: I want my kids to learn to play music. I want them to be active and pick up a sport. I just don’t think they have to do it all before they’re six.

Let’s put this into a little bit of context, and think about what the ultimate goal for these well-meaning parents is. I presume that they’re thinking if they get them started early their kids can perform well enough to finish school early and then start working sooner in a job that will make them lots of money so they can retire early so they can have a chance to enjoy a bit of downtime before their life is over.

But maybe if we relax just a little bit, we’ll find that quality of life is already here, just waiting for us to slow down a bit and enjoy it.

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The Mother Load is a mommy column by Pear Tree editor Lori-Anne Poirier that runs weekly on thecalgarybeacon.com and in The Penticton Herald’s Southern Exposure.

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- Words and photo by Lori-Anne Poirier

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