Resolutions for a New Year: Follow That Dream

So you know that book you’ve always wanted to write? The CD you really should record? Or maybe it’s a hobby that has the potential to become a career – or just an advancement you’ve had your eye on in your current vocation. We at The Pear Tree want to declare 2011 “The Year You Make It Happen.”

We all have dreams and “what if” scenarios. Too often, we don’t ever explore their potential or take the chance of turning a dream into a reality. That’s why our final resolution in this series is “follow that dream.”

“As children, ‘try’ meant, ‘make a wholehearted attempt to win’. Now, as adults, it means, ‘I gave it a little effort so I can shrug my shoulders and move on guilt free.’ Our goals today aren’t about winning, they are about follow through,” said Kelowna-based performance coach Rhonda Victoor. “It’s about doing the thing that we know will make our work or lives or relationships better. A wishy-washy-try attempt is really another form of procrastination. We’re still not committing to do anything specific and ongoing.”

Performance coach Rhonda Victoor

Rhonda started Incite Coaching in 2000 and has since coached and presented all over Canada, the United States, South America and Europe. She’s co-authored the book Awakening the Workplace and released an audio book called Out With Schmoozing: Keys to Successful Networking.

As a performance coach (sometimes called life coach), she helps her clients get concrete about exactly what they want, then help them to see the path they need to take to get there.

“A coach … doesn’t accept excuses. She holds you accountable. And holds the mirror up so you can see, honestly, what perspectives or habits are keeping you stuck. Keeping you in try mode rather than do mode,” she said.

Part of what she does is push people past their excuses to embrace their potential. Common ones she hears include: “I’m too tired. Too old. Don’t have the money. Don’t have the time. Don’t believe I can do it. I don’t deserve it. I’m scared of being that fabulous person and maintaining that,” she said.

One of Rhonda’s favourite quotes is by Star Wars Jedi Master Yoda: “Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.”

Whether your goal this year is moving up a few rungs on the old corporate ladder, starting a business of your own or just keeping the house cleaner, Rhonda says there are some key things to consider.

“Be honest about what you really want more of in your life. A lot of what you listed are ‘shoulds’. I should get a promotion or keep the house cleaner. But what I really want is more intimacy with my spouse and more laughter in my day. Ditch the ‘should’ and look honestly at what you’re really missing in your life. Then pick one tiny ritual that will get you there. Choose a time of day or week that fits your responsibilities. And commit to someone that you’ll stick to that.”



To help one of our readers on their way to fulfilling their dream, performance coach Rhonda Victoor is offering a free, 90-minute coaching super session over the phone (check it out her other services, including a group coaching session, by clicking on the link). Our randomly drawn winner will talk about what they want, and the steps they need to take to get it. To enter, leave a comment below telling us what you’d like to accomplish in 2011. A winner will be selected and announced Monday morning, 31 January. Good luck!

In the meantime, our two randomly selected winners for our Culturize Yourself giveaway are Julie and Joanne. Congratulations! You’ve both won a won year membership to the Kelowna Art Gallery! We will be in touch by email to work out details on getting your membership.


Update: January 31, 2011, Giveaway Winner!

The winner of this giveaway in the New Year’s Resolutions series is Kirsten Nilsen! Kirsten will receive a 90-minute consultation with performance coach Rhonda Victoor to help her get a start on her ambition for 2011! Congratulations! For everyone else, thanks for all your comments – keep reading for more fun giveaways down the road!

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  1. well I’m hoping she’s willing to talk long distance.

    I am decidedly anti-resolution, and wishy-washy to say the least about my dreams, but I know that I really *want* to write. I know that writing more will put me in a balanced place, a productive place, a generous place. A place I want to be. So.

    Some coaching on how to make that happen would be huge.

  2. I would finally like to shake the weight monkey off my back. It is something I try every year to do and never seem to know quite how to get myself to the point I would love to be at.

  3. Is she willing to talk really long distance? (mind you I wouldn’t mind making the call myself!). Goal writing is always a good thing. It can help me define what is a priority for me.

  4. Absolutely I coach long distance. Most of my clients live a province or country away. Looking forward to coaching one of you soon! And for those who aren’t selected for the draw, check out mastermind coaching at – click on the coaching page and see how you can get a small group of friends together to achieve all your goals this year!

  5. I am a stay at home mom who is looking for my passion. I love being a mom and don’t want to go back to work full time but I need to find something to do with my mind! Help – I need Rhonda’s help!!

  6. Maintain amd grow grow my frame of mind and heart so that it is open, loving and purposeful towards myself and others.

    If in 2011 I could transition into work that works well for my family and my work goals, go on a solo camping trip, put more specific loving intention into my relationship with my husband, grow more of my own food, love my family and community well and do something that is a real challenge for me and set out some energy patterns that will help me become all that I can be when I turn 40 in a couple of years – that would be an amazing year!

  7. What a great idea. We all have dreams and goals and sometimes just need some guidance to reach them!

  8. pointer #4 this week > all conspiring to remind me what I should be aiming for!

  9. I graduate with my BBa in April of this year, I want to explore what options I have for my career. I have spent 4 years in school and I feel like I am coming out with an amazing education but I don’t know what to do with it. My goal by the end of 2011 is to find a company that is flexible enough to let me explore my career.

  10. Chanel Malcolm-Fubler

    I would like to finish and publish a book I have been writing (and I use that term loosely) for over a year. Major life events have caused me to get sidetracked several times but I would like to finish it this year. Getting a coach who would demand accountability would be really huge for me right now.

  11. I am looking to start a new “professional” chapter in my life in the Spring of 2011. Last year brought about many positive changes and this is the one area I need to really focus on now… and let’s face it, I always need help!

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